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Part 2: Mantras

by Mcsplosion

/
1.
Still? 02:58
(Instrumental)
2.
Floating 04:00
Sunday morning sunrise, and sunlight shining down into your eyes And as you rub them, you find you're once again in darkness No, you're still floating between the real and nothingness So just sit back, relax and reflect on passing thoughts and memories Endless hallways, lit by spectral torches Floating, flying, into starlit terraces Endless hallways, marked with the portraits of your past Swerving, sinking, below the sea of dying dreams Don't get too comfortable Your fears can still be found Don't get too comfortable I still see you while you sleep
3.
The count is off once again It's coming out of my pocket (Waiting in the rain) The line never seems to end And the hours crawl on by (Awake at 3AM) Another job, another distraction from the truth Another year, another life away from you But it's all worth it just to hear your voice Yeah, it's all worth it so I can see your face again Another late, thankless shift Only to settle into a sleep far too short An endless year that's gone too soon And the aching of my feet (Waiting in the rain) Postponing dreams and living in hope they could come true (Awake at 3AM) Recurring scenes of flying away into the blue (I really hope it's worth it) Because if all of this was for nothing And all that I've done was rendered pointless I don't know how I'd go on Don't think I could go on I could never go on Don't make me have to go on
4.
stains 05:29
I can still taste it on your shirt Some things never just wash out The messes we leave in our wake Are bleeding into daily life Nail polish sitting in the cracks remover resting on the desk Gloves and skirts hidden in our dressers Someday that bubble's wont to burst No matter what might come next No matter how they'll try to scold and bar, or shun, or kill us We'll always have those nights alone No matter what might come next No matter how they'll try to Legislate, Debate to kill us We'll always have those nights alone Growing older, world keeps growing colder People like us just have to soldier Soldier on for love and happiness What a blessing those would be with ease
5.
Wareheim 06:42
There was no love inside your eyes All that I saw was through your lies My blood runs cold when I hear your voice I hear your blood boil when some girls are "boys" Blood trickles down your cheek My hand is trembling in rage and fear I don't want to hear you speak About respect when you give none This is your fault This is your crime This is how you'll be known in time
6.
Today would mark a year since I last saw your face The real one, not that face in that casket And if I knew that would be the last time we met I'd have put a pause on everything And even still Everybody says you're sleeping That you're resting in the shade But I know better, you're not sleeping You're not even here at all You were gone when you lay down Familiar waste is all we found They all tell me you looked the same but the thing I saw only bears your name As much as I wish it were the case We can't be sure you're even listening As much as I wish I saw you there The simple fact: it's only empty flesh without the spark I couldn't wave goodbye I couldn't say goodbye This is my goodbye This is my goodbye I couldn't wave goodbye I couldn't say goodbye This is my goodbye This is my goodbye Now you're gone and all I have Are whispers of a distant past In the photographs hung on the wall In the pamphlet that I kept Time marches on and still I feel The weight of your passing far from my home Even still, It's so unreal That you don't have a damn gravestone I hope that I was wrong I hope you're sleeping there I hope you saw the light I hope that I was wrong I hope you're sleeping there I hope you saw the light I hope I see the light
7.
Auvafulhau 07:09
Here among the wreckage of days long past There still stands a beacon of hope And through the hurricane its light still shines Though the waters try their best There's very few things that can weather down these walls On through the stormy nights The seer never dies On through the turmoil The human spirit flies Dream of better days and breakfast-time tonight (God wont bring this house down tonight, we won't close these doors without a fight) And though disaster hungers on, it never shakes this mighty giant's walls I'll never set foot in a world without Auvafulhau still standing short and stout
8.
Shoreline 03:40
A tsunami surges unbeknownst Behind the tranquil waters on the shore The waves, they seem to draw back slowly A distant mountain drawing ever closer Ever closer, pulling countless mass of salted mayhem and indifferent carnage The clearing clouds now show a rainbow What a sight to behold as the waves come crashing down The Tide is Coming In... Nothing beside remains.
9.
I see the orange sky one more time It Fades to blue before my eyes I know I won't see you again so I hold you close in my arms and whisper nothings as the embers of the sun fade away again Look out into the sea, see the waves in the dwindling light I wish you could hold me in this moment till the feelings fade away Nevertheless, I feel like crying. Not from regret, but from the fleeting joy of incidental pleasure Why must this be our last sunset together? Why must the moments be clawed away like sand on the shore? Why can't we keep this evening winding forever? Never grow old or face the void beyond our being? I close my eyes and cry, and I smile
10.
Lifeless, we lie under these stones Slowly breaking down, joining the soil Helpless you were to save us from this early rest of empty bliss Our faces still frozen in pain from what? We still don't understand our long-lost weight still shapes the skin stretched on our bones You lowered us down not once, but twice tears only came the first time We don't blame you, the second time, you knew what to expect (Tomorrow, We'll Do it Again) Ceaseless hunger shocks our souls is it cancer or tapeworm? You'll never know maybe it's the food you fed us, maybe after all you were to blame (Don't Listen, that's not us talking) (You did your best in such a shitty household) Stop Grieving Keep Living Keep Loving and one day we'll come back along Stop Grieving Keep Living Keep Loving and one day we'll meet in the void Where all things go after they've gone, or maybe you'll disappear too. Don't waste your life living for us We're only ghosts inside your mind, after all.
11.
QT 04:41
Coming home that night, I saw you thin and pale Your cheeks were empty and your eyes were glass I knew you wouldn't make it another night But I didn't expect to hear you scream that night You cried your last, then you were gone I held your matted body close, could barely hold it in Still had to dig the hole for you I couldn't hold it off till day I held your vigil in the crescent light Even the bastards pitied me that night A fleeting hug from a sad excuse took wing All I have are fantasies you went out purring Instead of choking on your final cry for help All I have are memories of you going limp A ragdoll in a shoebox stained with your own piss In the end, there's not a thing you could've done
12.
Pandora 09:04
I saw you again last night, sleeping at the foot of the bed I try to keep you off my mind, but you won't get out of my head Whimpering cries still haunt my psyche Echoes of you fill the room I reach out but you are still gone And my bedroom feels like a tomb I found a box of your keepsakes Trinkets and things from the days long past It felt like treasure to me Now I wish I never opened it at all I still see you every now and then You look better than the day I buried you I want to think it's not my fault But it happened twice, that can't be true I'm seeing blurs of grey and black along my wall You are here, but you're also gone I wish that it were more peaceful But i think i know where I went wrong I found a box of your keepsakes Trinkets and things from the days long past It felt like treasure to me Now I wish I never opened it at all At all Now I wish I never opened it at all

about

Part 2 of this song cycle concerns dreamscapes, and processing trauma and grief in one's sleep. It is thematically related to the former section, but has a more fluid story structure.

credits

released November 27, 2023

Marian Mcsplosion - Composition, Production, Guitar, Venova, Vocals, Drum Programming, Bass Programming, Bass Guitar, Sampling, Keyboards
Slader - Backing Vocals (12)
Travislovebenson - Joint Songwriter (12)
Freshlennon - Joint Songwriter (12)
Artwork Is a photomanipulation incorporating images generated in Midjourney V5 based on my own face

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Mcsplosion Elgin, Texas

Hi, I make music.
I was originally planning to do primarily prog rock but now it's whatever I feel like.

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